| Bear | |
|---|---|
| |
| Gender | Male |
| Hometown | The Forest, England |
| Residence(s) | Hampstead Heath The Head house (adopted) Los Angeles (briefly) |
| Lovers | Busty Barmaid (Linsey Dawn McKenzie), Myleene Klass, Jenny McCarthy, Helena Hennerson, Lucy Pinder |
| Occupation | Segment host |
| Also known as | The Bear, Steven Spiel-Bear-g |
| Sexuality | Heterosexual (I’m not a Gay because I like Tities) |
| Status | Alive |
| Family | |
| Parents | Mark Bear (father) Sheila Bear (mother) Richard Head (adopted) Helena Hennerson (adopted) |
| Siblings | Lillian Hennerson (adopted) |
| Behind the Scenes | |
| First Appearance | Series 1: Episode 1 |
| Last Appearance | Cha'mone Mo'Fo'Selecta! |
| Actor | Leigh Francis |
Personality[]
The Bear is a rude and perverted British teddy bear and one of the main protagonists of the series including Avid Merrion and Craig David. Bear host the segment Showbiz Tails in which he interviews a wide range of celebrities.
Despite being rude and perverted and a bear he does usually get a lot of pussy. Notable examples include shagging Myleene Klass, drinking 4 gallons of a busty barmaid’s tit milk and getting suck off by Jenny McCarthy.
Series 1[]
Series 2[]
Series 3[]
Bear makes his first appearance in series 3 when he goes to see celebrity hypnotist Paul McKenna to help with his constant erections. Paul hypnotises him to have him remember the first time he came across a woman but this backfired and Bear cums on Paul’s face.
The next time we see Bear he is with Bob Mortimer at the pub where they discuss women feeling like balloons sometimes during sex. But they quickly distracted by the Busty Barmaid (played Linsey Dawn McKenzie) and argue who she is giving “come over hear and kiss my balloons eyes”, bob is the first to attempt to flirt with her but fails so Bear then approaches her and pretends to be a young starving child who’s father has left them at the pub and asks if he can have any milk. She surprisingly does breast feed him (4 gallons of milk straight from her big fat busters) and he then takes her back to his duplex to have sex as well as film a prono.
Later on in the series Bear is at restaurant with Myleene Klass flirting with her and eventually having sex with her. After they have sex bear comments that Myleene apparently goes at it like a rabbit.
In the final episode of the series Bear decides to not go to the after party and instead has his assistant Charlotte give him fellatio and finger his ass hole.
A Bear’s Christmas Tail[]
Bear is walking across the road at night and is hit by a car being driven by Helena Hennerson. Bear is irritate and begins to yell at Helena but does refer to her as being sexy, Helena offers to take him back to her home so he can rest and recover. When they arrive Bear doesn’t take to Helena’s husband or daughter and is put in a cote to reset while they go Christmas shopping but before they leave Helena says “I think it’s going to be really nice having you here” to which bear responds “well it’s going to be really nice to be had by you” she then kisses him and farts before leaving.
Bear spends most of the night drinking and watching darl a babes but when the family returns he asks for them to adopt him which they do. Later on Helena is ready him variant of little red riding hood and at the end Helena wishes him a merry Christmas and kisses him good night but Bear gets an erection and she ends up kissing his tail end.
A Bear’s Tail[]
A Bear’s Tail takes place six months after the Christmas special and opens with Bear arriving at the house to find it empty. He then sets off to find Helenna and restore her memory of him and their Christmas experience. He finds her on the set of Emmerdale farm and proceeds to slap her to restore her memory which ends up working with Helenna saying “I do remember, I am your mum. I kissed your willie, it tasted like chicken” she then hugs bear with him commenting “I can feel her breasts on me. Who’d thought me getting a boob rub by Patsy Kennsit”.
Throughout the rest of the series Bear gets into a lot of high jinx like getting caught by Richard watching porn and masterbating but he manages to get to Helena’s bedroom and convince her it was actually Richard watching the porn, which he tells her is gay porn, and asked if can with her in the bed. It is unlikely that they had sex that night because Helena still was sleeping and still sees Bear as her child but Bear most likely coped a feel of her breasts or buttocks during the night. The next morning she find used tissue under the sofa but thinks their Richard because she doesn’t believe that bear is to young to produce so much cum. She keeps one of the tissues and puts a safety pin in the back of to make broach and later discovered it smells nice too.
In the second to last episode Helena and Richard are having marriage troubles and he decides to leave for awhile. Bear comforts distress Helena by convincing her to have a picnick with him in the park, she agrees and the to spend the day at the park. A montage follows of them have fun like going on the swings, frolicking in the field and sunbathing. During the sunbathing Helena asks bear to put sunscreen on her back but instead he jerks off and cums on her back pretending that it is sunscreen. When they return home bear kisses Helen and at first she doesn’t pull away but she eventually does when there is a knock on the door. It is Richard having returned to say he is sorry and propose to Helena to which, after looking at bear, says yes to Richard but when hugging him makes a face to suggest she has second thoughts.
The final episode begins with Helena trying on her wedding dress and looking in the mirror saying “you’re making right choice aren’t you. Richard lovely man but Bear does have a nice big tasty cock”. She stops herself from continuing and goes to see if bear is ready for the wedding. When she enters his room he tells her to fuck off, calls her a tees and says he isn’t going to the wedding she then leaves with tears in her eyes. After the others have left bear regrets what he says and sees a hallucination of Pamela Anderson tell him “go get that fine ass pussy” before going he asks her to show her tits, she does to which he says “ I love telly”. He arrives at wedding just in time and apologises to Helena and asks her to runaway with him in his typical fashion. He says “come on Helena you know you don’t want a poncy twat like Richard. You want a proper fella like me with big fat juice cock going right in between your lovely tits and in your mouth”. Helena agrees and leaves with bear in the wedding limo. Later on we see that Bear and Helena have taken Richard’s planned honeymoon for themselves and learn that Helena has all the money leaving Richard and Lillian out. In the final scene we see Helena and bear in bed together but there is a knock at the door claiming to be house keeping but in reality is actually two prostitues in sexy French maid outfit hired by bear to spice things up a bit to which Helena agrees and then proceeds to deep throat him while he breaks the fourth wall to say goodbye to the audience.
Bo in the USA[]
The Bear makes his first appearance on a CCTV recording in which he has a partially nude busty blonde jumping on a trampoline, he later says he fucked her as well. Throughout the series he works with Verne Troyer’s talent agency to learn more about how Hollywood works. The first person he interviews is Jenny McCarthy and eventually they have a flirt off in which they say “Bear: Hello pretty lady you look like fun, Jenny: You make me moist, Bear: Hey party girl I bet you smell like chocolate dessert, Jenny: I want to shave you and hump you, Bear: Jenny McCarthy I want to lay my big grease dick in between your big fat juices tits, I’m going to spray all over you Jenny, I’m going to leave you like a painter’s radio. I’ve got a rocket in my pocket and it’s time to blow. Suck me off Jenny McCarthy.” She then proceeded to give him head and when done bear asks if it tasted nice to which she responds it was bit salty.
The next time we see bear is in his hotel room after a night of sex with British model Lucy Pinder. He asks her if she is making breakfast but she says she has to catch her flight to which he asks her not to go. They go back and forth until tells her fuck off then. Later on bear interviews Victoria Silvestedt
After the Series[]
After the end of the Christmas special we learn that bear now producer of pornographic films and has more women than Hugh Hefner.
Behind the Scenes[]
- The character of the Bear was influenced by Barry Gibson — a character who appeared in Popworld, also played by Leigh Francis.
- It is later implied in the dvd extras that Bear got bored of Helena, dumped her, took all her money and then went to the hotel in LA.
Appearances[]
Gallery[]
